DEADLINE....I HAVE BEEN ON....

If anyone out there in the blogosphere actually checks in on this blog periodically (without me secretly luring you off Facebook and Twitter), I just want to say that a story I've been working on for almost two years (yes, you read that right) finally got approved for a cover (yip yip!) So I'm working on that. But I'll post something probably later today, or tomorrow.

I don't know why I just thought of this, but the word "deadline" has "dead" in it...ha, because that's kind of how you feel afterward? Because some projects almost kill you it seems? Yeah, it's kind of like that sometimes isn't it.

Glow-in-the-Dark Skeleton Baby

Someone please buy this for your baby. Or for your baby's baby. Or for someone else's baby. Or for me, in case I ever have a baby. (Oh, I saw this at Young Navy Blue.)

Trollin' With Some Halloween Homies...and Snooki as Baby Sinclair from "Dinosaurs"?

So I was watching a little two-year-old girl and playing with her hair, kind of piling it on top of her head, and said, "Ha! You look like a troll doll! Do you know what a troll doll is? You could be one for Halloween!" She hadn't yet been introduced to troll dolls, so we went on the computer so I could change her life. And out of all these images, this was the first one she picked out, ha:



By the way, check out this photo, some of the best Halloween costumes ever. These girls should be the new Kool-Aid mascots.



Oh, also as I was trollin' the Internet on this troll mission, I came across this image — how have I not seen this until now? Snooki being compared to Baby Sinclair from that old sitcom "Dinosaurs"? OMG. By the way, the whole "Not the momma!" Baby Sinclair joke was a long-running joke between me and my mom for a long time (hence my use of "long-running"). Ha, someone should make a video of Baby Sinclair saying, "Not the Snooki!"

Bloody Feet on the Bumper May Appear... At All?

A singular bloody foot protruding from the bumper of a minivan was the last thing I expected to see driving north on Western Ave in Chicago this morn. I tried to get a better picture, but the guy pulled over because he probably realized I was snapping a photo, and — you know — didn't want me to get any incriminating evidence.

Good thing I got a picture of his license plate, phew.

Pancakes "Fluffier Than a Mofo"?

I got a random text from my friend Sara that read: "Pancakes sound so good right now." Followed by the short-but-necessary modifier: "Fluffy ones."

This was not in the morning, or on a Sunday, it was at 3:20 on a Thursday afternoon (if it was an hour later at 4:20 I could understand, zing!). When I talked with her later that night she couldn't stop talking about wanting said griddle circles, and how she and her boyfriend went to a place in New Prague, MN that had ones that were "fluffier than a mofo."

Fluffier than a mofo? Aw, hell no. "What is the name of this place?!" I begged of her.

It's called the Flipside Pub and Grill. The only downside of Flipside, apparently, is that they don't serve alcohol before noon, as to not conflict with wine-sipping Sunday church services. (Maybe that's why New Prague is actually pronounced New "Pray-gue" in that neck of the woods.)

I got off the phone with Sara, who was still talking about pancakes at the end of our 33-minute conversation. "Whenever I make pancakes, they just never come out the same as theirs," she moaned. I recommended adding an egg and buttermilk to the batter. About five minutes later, I get this picture text from her.



Followed by this one, accompanied by the text, "Fucked it up already!!... Ugggh... I need their recipe."



Let us put a pancake on our heads, and pray for the pancake god's blessing to deliver this request.



(BTW, I found this bunny photo on the blog JenCutter.com, which looks delectably phunny. I wonder if that bunny paid for that pancake in Bunny Munny.)

Why I Enjoyed My Recent Visit to Menard's

A photo of a mom showing her daughter how to fix a car in the automotive section? Yippy skippy!!!! I mean, heh heh, that's cool man, real real cool (cracking open a beer, putting hand in pants).

[UPDATE: Now that I think about it, that doesn't necessarily have to be a mom and a daughter, it could just be a woman — an aunt, a neighbor, a local mechanic — showing a little girl what's up... I wish I knew more about fixing cars. Shit, I don't even know how to change a tire, der... please help me woman in Menard's photo...]

Goodbye Snowboard

I traded $150 worth of party favors for you in college, never used you, but I will never forget the good times I had paying you off. You now belong to cool awesome cat-grooming awesome snowboarding girl in the suburbs. Who will maybe invite me along to play on some slippery slopes sometime. Goodbye snowboard, I love you.